Training doubts

June 19: 30.6 miles to Manchester

June 20: 15 miles around Marblehead

June 21: 19.5 miles around the Neck and Peaches Point

June 23: 28.2 miles around Marblehead Neck and Beverly Farms

June 24: 54.1 miles on the Tour De Shuls ride from Swampscott to Gloucester

June 26: 24.7 miles Greenwood Ave., three loops of the Neck and Peach's Point/Beacon St.

June 28: 18 miles around Marblehead and Swampscott.

June 30: 10 miles in the rain around Marblehead.

July 2: Rode 18.7 miles around Marblehead with Scott

July 3: Rode to Nahant and then picked up bagels at Panera, 19.7 miles

July 5: Rode to Nahant, 26 miles. Also rode the Neck

July 7: Rode 26 miles Nahant and Marblehead Neck

July 8: Rode 26.8 miles to Manchester with Arthur

July 10: Rode 25.1 miles to Nahant, rode Nahant backwards, rode fast to get back home

July 11: Rode 26.2 miles to Nahant and Marblehead Neck.

A total of 483 miles in the past 28 days.

Thanks to my Strava app, I no longer feel it necessary to track all my rides on paper, which is a shame. Strava may give my a map of my ride, the miles, the average speed and even the power, but it lacks soul. What about riding in the rain just for the heck of it? What about nearly slamming into another rider and an Audi SUV on the Neck the other day at 30 mph? What about feeling tired and out of it today but riding anyway? On the app, one ride melds into the next. Achievements are based on other riders I don't know and have never spoken with. The whole process of dialing in every ride by the numbers leaves me cold.
Tonight, the Beverly Grand Prix took place and again this year I worked late and headed home to be with Aveen. I am also freaked out because a rescue cat we took in last weekend has managed to disappear inside the walls of the house and we cannot find it.
I would have loved to see the race, tonight, but I love riding in the morning. I like feeling I've accomplished something before I go to work. I have the same feeling about the Tuesday crit. I want to ride it, but it is nearly impossible for me to break away from work, even with early deadlines.
With the Hillclimb and Tahoe looming, this is the time when I start to doubt whether I'm training right. I have not been able to pull off a long ride all season. So I drag myself out of bed every morning and I ride, hoping I am not overtraining or undertraining.